Poems by Hoshang Dinshaw Merchant 

Three Poems for Anuvab
6 October 2023
 
Burnt toast
Overheated bath
What next?
—Burn your house
 
This morning
he took me
to a no-place
In a not-now
 
The first nay-sayer
who made me
worship him
as myself
in his youth spring
 
I drowned:
Make me mad
But you too will go
       . . . mad
 
Do not go to the fair?
Why you might find gold ore
Or a lost linga
Be robbed by a dacoit
            Dacoit of Love
 
Drink
But each temple step
will be a tavern’s
 
Your prayers
a mad dance
my prayers
 
Hair flying
Eyes afire
Wet benedictions
 
from the whiskey bottle
Each descent
given a station
if the Cross
 
And when they made
The first martyr
The saints themselves
Ordered the martyrdom
 
And his grave
is this House
      of mad song
 
 
Note
First martyr is St Sebastian.
The story is in the Apocrypha.
 
 
2
 
We have exchanged
                      bodies
You have stolen my youth
 
The same eyes
Hair
Lips
Waist
I had at 20
 
I will steal all back from you
Shed this old skin like
a snake
And become you
 
When you eat the mud:
Baby Krishna
at my doorstep
 
You will open your mouth
You would have swallowed the universe.
 
 
3
 
Walking in a dream
Asleep to the world
I awake with a shudder
to think of you
Right here in my room
And then I am truly awake
To your unbidden presence
Your unspoken word

Hoshang Dinshaw Merchant (born 1947) is an Indian poet. He is a preeminent voice of gay liberation in India and modern India’s first openly gay poet. Merchant is best known for his anthology on gay writing titled Yaarana. He has written 20 books of poetry and four critical studies. Secret Writings of Hoshang Merchant (New Delhi: OUP, 2016), edited by Akshaya K. Rath, is his most recent publication.
 
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