It’s the beginning, the end of something that was kneaded from clumsiness. The sound of the horns and the bathroom I need to make talk from now on. I wanted to say that I became an ever deepening pocket, still I am full of matchboxes. The morning freeze happens in a complicated thrashing way, later, I’ll make hazy concessions. I can touch any part of her, I could go on until noon. The small pile of wood in the yard, I can’t get it out of my head, to have a cue like this. Then, as if I’d stare into a heavy helmet, trying to imagine the faces. These kind of images create redundant days. Standing before the large mirror, this body reserves for me this, at least for my two own mistakes. That it’s quite human like to oblige her.
She told me to understand
All I could think of was that these vases are not vases, that this day is fully packed with many times and different ways, that the bread was baked somewhere else and was calmly brought over here, that these children won’t be saved by anyone from any laughter they will laugh that it’d be enough of a hint if a chair would be thrown at us, the other instruction for today would be that whatever happens I have to run to the back yard in humiliation as if I were deaf or shamefully happy not to see the chequered notebook pages thumbnailed upon the adobe wall, the way they, one after another are scrupulously grateful for even numbers, for cities and pit-ponies, for us and for the cold winch of the railroad crossing bar.
(Translated by Michael Castro and Gábor Gyukics)
The Tepid Heart, but Let’s Not Repeat It
The plaid shirt you left forgotten on the garden bench. Such is time gone past. In the house you so love your mother always gets the first word. How long the backroom’s watched over this head. Blabbing’s absurd. I waited up for you, and left to myself like all those times before, I slipped my hand up your blouse.
Pristine July. The sun comes out and stays that way through the afternoon. The grass dries, the puny seed soaks into the earth. By nightfall even the last fence becomes clear. You hit the roof, what d’you mean, pristine, the dark is nothing but the dark.
With the dead I’m somehow more steadfast. I say two years, then we sell the house. The gate, the rusty bars are what I remember. A heart is that which hates or might just not, yet still never gives an inch. You can roam through life’s blurry halls. I make coffee without a thought for you.
So long there’s a time-table and there are trains. At the dirt road’s end the station’s stood nearly fifty years. I walk to the store, where the gal’s still called the gal, and I’m still friends with her daughter. Then back to the waiting room, back to the scoured stone benches. On our street an ancient mine gapes, summer passes.
Let it be Sunday, let it be morning. May the house rouse ’round eight. May everything follow in drowsy, delayed order, may two bodies obey a never-known habit. A light wind, autumn garden, whatever’s in it edible, just let this all be. And let’s talk till noon, as if a guest were jotting down, taking note of every word. Let’s consistently say this carcass is the past, and in front of life may this regularly appear: fucking. Let’s lie about character, cities, roles, but the names, for God’s sake, let’s not repeat.
(Translated by Maya J. LoBello)
Marcell Szabó poet and translator was one of the founding members of Telep (Settlement) poetry group. Since 2014, he is the editor of Versum Online, an online journal of contemporary poetry focusing exclusively on translation. He is currently working on his third book of poetry.